Grasping : Attempting to Fill the Infinite Void

Have you ever felt like there’s an emptiness in your life?  A certain nagging dissatisfaction? A longing for something unnamed?

You try to fill the void by overindulging in pleasurable acts, like shopping, eating, drinking, sex…the problem is that the hole has no bottom, it is infinite.  For a while you are satisfied with the temporary relief these pleasures bring, but when the pleasure wears off, you’re back where you were, empty.

You’re not alone.  The Buddhists have a name for this behavior; they call it grasping.  …and yes, as you may have guessed, it’s futile.  So what to do now?  Well, you could continue to ignore the problem and wait for yourself to be swallowed by the black hole you’ve created, or you could get to the root of the problem.  Easier said than done, huh?

Only a strong person can take an honest look at themselves.  Confronting our inner demons is no small task.  Letting go of excuses is imperative, it is what it is. Just as important is the letting go of judgment.  Be kind to yourself.  What is done is done.  Now is the time to understand, detach from the problem, heal and move on.

You can do this.  You’re stronger than you think.

If this is a subject that interests you, check out my book, “The Red Speck”.  The book is an allegory, not a straightforward self help book.  Couched in the allegory is a path that helped me tremendously.  You might also find this article on neuroplasticity helpful.

Good luck on your journey.  Take some relief in knowing many others have walked this path and survived, why not you?

Much Love,

S. Conde



8 thoughts on “Grasping : Attempting to Fill the Infinite Void

  1. Its a very interesting point you raise. However, I wouldn’t call it infinite — I think there’s hope!

    I believe there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. I have often thought about the infinite void myself along my personal journey.

    I have an interesting thought as to perhaps why we are overwhelmed with these insecure feelings of darkness and emptiness unable to fill the void.

    I think we are longing for this ‘something’ that we once had. This ‘thing’ we are searching for, lets call it ‘Nirvana’ for now. I think, the liberation of ones soul, is impossible to find here inside this world. Our physical bodies demands are for material needs. Maybe we can get close to higher state, but not the ultimate state of purity and long term perfection — I don’t thinks it possible until the next level.

    We are spiritual beings coming from the beauty of the light. We are born pure light beings and through our lives endure the physical pain, suffering, and hardships that slowly grind us down and break us. The problem is that the world is that it’s material driven, and often corrupt, tainted by greed and this lust for desire. The lifestyle we must endure here clashes and contradicts our higher spiritual selves.

    I think this grasping and futile feeling our souls are crying out for, is the longing and the return back into the light. I keep asking the same questions: What the hell am I doing here? I don’t really belong here? I’m hurting and suffering inside like everyone else. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a complainer, I’ve accept my pathway and final fate!

    I am living a fairly ordinary but comfortable lifestyle — I got exactly what I need. I do have a good job making enough money, but none of these things bring me happiness. I don’t have anyone in my life now. This gets harder as time passes by. I’ve had to to place my current happiness and personal life on hold, while caring for my 12 year son, and mentally unwell ex. You cant just throw human beings away, discarding them like milk cartons. I just do whats right counting the days go by dealing with mine and everyone’s demons. That’s why I write. I find it helps me through the day.

    Thank God our journeys are only temporal. That’s when death comes along and delivers us back into the light. Now we have Nirvana! But there’s a catch: that’s only if we have followed the rules, living a fairly honest and good life. Anyway, that’s my three cents worth (2+1)! I think you’re lucky, at least you’ve have pleasure in your life! Mine life is all work – work – work – and writing!

    Great post and take care,

    • Jay,

      Thank you for your thought out response. Well appreciated.
      I think you misunderstood the metaphor though. There is hope AND, left untreated, the void IS infinite. No amount of grasping in an attempt to fill the hole is ever enough. It’s akin to giving an injured person pain meds but not antibiotics. The wound must be healed, not numbed.
      You sound as though you’re wishing for death, in the way death cults see nothing good in this life here on Earth and await their reprieve in the next. Suicide is a sin in the Christian faith because so many of their early followers were killing themselves in an attempt to reach “nirvana”. They had to make it a sin. You can’t fill the pews with dead people.
      Also, you say you have no pleasure in your life, yet you have your son and your writing. Perhaps it would be more apt to say you “take” no pleasure in your life. You also say I’m lucky, yet you don’t know me. You don’t know what my life has been like. It struck me as a strange statement to be honest. Does this mean you are unlucky in comparison to someone you don’t even know?
      There is a story, that I promise you I’ll get wrong 😉 , about a a farmer. He is old and only has one son to help him with the planting and harvesting. All the neighbors come by and tell him how unlucky he is that he only has one son. The old man replies, “It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is”. Later, while plowing, the son falls from his horse and breaks his leg. All the neighbors again, say how unlucky the old man is and wonder aloud whatever will he do now. The old man again replies, “It’s not good it’s not bad it just is”. Later a general comes passing through town and rounds up all the young men and takes them off to fight in a foreign war. The old man’s son remains because his leg is broken, the townspeople tell him how lucky he is…to which the old man replies? You get the point I’m sure. 🙂
      Jay, we create our own reality in how we CHOOSE to view things, and it’s a choice. It is my most sincere wish for you, that you begin to find pleasure in the mundane and beauty in the imperfect.

      Warmest Regards,


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